Prank Wars
by denise134
Summary: Hetalia High- a sprawling campus rich in history and cultural diversity. It's  a school were students can relax in harmony, without prejudice or   discrimination. Well it would be, if Alfred and Arthur would stop fighting! I see war! Pairings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi and welcome to my awesome story! My name is denise134. The summary really didn't explain this right so imma try to explain it. Due to some circumstances Al and Iggs hate each other. And they start a prank war. **

**There are some extra characters in this little war and they have teams. Some are neutral and some just watch for the hell of it. This is just the introduction chapter to lead in and give the story some oomph. The next chapters will be longer. It get's better as it goes. Trust me. Each character on the teams have their own reasons and motivations for joining said teams.**

**Now this entire story is dedicated to my Prussia-sensei, crocious. Without him this story wouldn't even exist. Not only is he my beta..but he also helped me with a lot of my ideas and the majority of the pranks for this story. Thank you so much crocious. You rock my awesome-sauce. I would also like to thank my friend SweetObscenity for forcing me to post this since she wanted to read it.**

**Warnings-Extreme stereotyping, swearing, and smut for the later chapters.**

**Disclaimer..if i owned this do you really think i'd be on here? I would be making our boys do some very interesting things during World Conferences if I owned it.**

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><p>...Hetalia High-a sprawling campus with lush green scenery; rich in history and cultural diversity, Where students can sit and philosophize under beautiful almond trees during lunch, while soft piano music swells from the music hall in a soothing melody broadcast to the students from the minute the birds start singing their sweet melody until the moon is high in the sky; where the cafeteria food is practically gourmet and the art halls rival the Louvre. It's an entire world where students from every culture, language, and walk of life can come together and relax in harmony, without prejudice or discrimination. That is, if you can ignore the animosity between the schools two resident idiots...<p>

...

"Watch where you**'**re going, you fucking limey." Alfred Jones snapped at a blonde British boy as their shoulders accidentally brushed. He wiped imaginary 'limeygerms' off his worn leather bomber jacket. "Now imma have to burn this. Thanks." He shrugged it off with a look that made one think it was tainted with the plague. He pouted at his favorite jacket

"Toss off Yankee," Arthur Kirkland replied coolly, placing his hands in his blue plaid school pants "It was destroyed the instant you put it on. Here's a suggestion; why don't you burn it before you take it off ? You could get rid of two God-awful things at once and make this school perfect."

"I'm sorry Iggy, what did you say, I don't speak dick." Al sneered as he draped the jacket over his right shoulder. He wasn't putting it on without it being thoroughly sanitized. Who knew what germs Iggy had.

"Sod, off wanker." Arthur growled and clenched his fists in his pockets.. There was no way in hell he would let this stupid American idiot make him lose his temper. Not again.

"I'm sorry, what? " Al said cupping his ear. ""You're so far down there I can't hear you. Oh! Or maybe those caterpillars on your face are blocking the sound waves. You should pluck them."

"And you should shut up," Arthur said sweetly, "But that's not happening any time soon. Better yet you should die. Isn't that what heroes do? Make the world a better place" he asked tilting his head in childlike innocence.

"Hey Iggs," Alfred smirked, sky blue eyes glittering maliciously, "Aren't Brit's supposed to be polite with bad teeth? Well..at least you've got the bad teeth part down anyway."

"I do not have bad teeth thank you very much. Tell me are you considering my suicide idea..I'd be happy to assist in making the world a better place." Arthur suggested his voice practically dripping poisoned honey. His patience had run thin long ago. Now it was just operating on fumes and pride.

"Nope, because that'd make you happy dude," Al shrugged "And if you experience any emotion other than anger, you run the risk of spontaneously combusting. I'm to nice to let that happen."

"That's a roundabout way of telling someone you like them Jones." Arthur quirked a large brow at the stereotypical American.

"No, I'm saying Hell didn't do anything to deserve you," he replied. He casually checked his nails for dirt.

"Go die in a bloody ditch!" Arthur snapped his hands clenched at his side while his forest green eyes boiled over with acid rage "At lease I don't have fat rolls hanging off my hips. Oh my! Just how much weight have you put on over the summer?"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" The American demanded childishly. "I haven't gained any weight! This is just muscle!" But Alfred checked his body for the dreaded rolls.

"Yes there is," Arthur snapped "It's called your inflated ego." This bloody Yank was starting to make him lose his cool. Damn it all.

At that moment, the air around the two filled with the scent of roses and pretension. From seemingly nowhere, Francis Bonnefoy appeared with a flourish at his best friend's side. "__Mon ami__," Francis said, flipping his golden hair. "I believe the bell is about to ring. __Venez avec moi."__

"Don't talk to me in your demon language you bloody frog!" Arthur snapped. But he let himself be steered away from the bigger of the two idiots.

Alfred jumped at the quiet sigh as his practically invisible twin appeared at his shoulder.

"C'mon Al, let's go to class before you get yourself suspended for fighting..again."

"Ninja!" Al shouted pumping a fist.

"Why are you so hard on little Alfred?" Francis asked draping an arm around the shorter blonde's shoulders. He had heard the explanation hundred**s** of times before, but in his mind it was best to let the Brit vent. It probably wasn't healthy..but Francis had never been one to care.

"You know bloody well why." Arthur said struggling,and failing, to get free of the Frenchman's death grip, He crossed his arms.

"But Arthur..all he did was leave you at the mall. Once. When you were in eighth grade"

"IT WAS MY THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY!" Arthur shouted "Francis Bonnefoy..please get your hand off my bum before I cut it off with a plastic knife." Francis pulled his hand away.

"And did you bother to ask him why?" Francis asked quirking a ridiculously delicate brow and clutching his hand to his chest protectively.

"Yeah, but he wouldn't tell me." he sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat. "Did you give him a chance to explain? Or did you just yell at him. Arthur ignored the question and walked into class.

"Al...please tell me why you think it's a good idea to piss off the Student Council president?" Matt asked shaking his head at his brother as they headed towards Geometry.

"Because he has a stick up his ass, and I like shoving up there higher..I wanna see how far it can go before it cracks him." Al shrugged lightly.

"Are you sure it doesn't have to do with what happened back then?" Matthew asked asked they walked in the door.

"No...I just enjoy pissing him off." Al said as he sat down in the back row and took out his books.

Matt sighed and sat down. He brightened suddenly as a silver haired albino struttted into class. "Hey Gil." Matt smiled at his friend.

"Matti don't get to close"Al hissed. "You'll catch his stupidity." Al hissed.

"If he hasn't caught it from you..he's immune." Gilbert smirked as he sat next to Matt. "Besides the awesome me is too awesome to be stupid." Gilbert puffed out his chest and winked at a blushing Matthew.

Al was about to reply before the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. He set himself to stare moodily out the window as the teachers droned on about pageants or tangents or whatever Geometry teachers blabbed on about for an hour.

Alfred's anger slowly ebbed away as he watched the early autumn breeze catch itself on the oak trees making them sway gracefully.. He smiled lightly at the deep, beautiful green of the leaves, just beginning to fleck with gold. He wondered absently where he had seen that gorgeous shade of green before and why he smelled burnt cookies when he thought about it.

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><p><strong>Congratulations! You've made it past the first chapter!<strong>

**Translation-(provided by crocious)-Come with me.**

**Reviews make me happy and earn you an Iggy keychain.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm so sorry for the long wait! School (and procrastination) have gotten to me. This IS NOT the full chapter. It's just what I have wrote so far to thank ya'll for waiting so patiently for me. I'll try to have the full thing posted by the end of the month, but no promises.**

**For those of you who saw the un-edited A/N in the last chp. My beta crocious is a chick. I'd been up for awhile, and I just did get around to changing that. Thanks to Shady-Ken for providing me with the awesome summary!**

**There's more, but I'll post that in the full chp. *Hands everyone who hasn't got one an Iggy keychain.) Thanks to all who reviewed, or just alerted me. It meant a lot and made me walk on air. Review and tell me what you think. **

**Enjoy Chp. 2.1**

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><p>The cafeteria at Hetalia High is as refined and beautiful as a high-school cafeteria can be. The floor tiles gleam like new; delicate painted flags shining underneath sneakers and loafers, and are so realistic you can't help but stop and stare. The tables are long, clean, sleek, and white. The vending machines along the walls have only the best food products and the all you can eat buffet is second to none. Different smells permeate the air each day ranging from heavenly catalonian meatballs for French Day, to intoxicating ravioli and pasta linguine during Italian day, to noxious burnt something or other for British Day. Or as it was known to most everyone. Sack Lunch Day.<p>

"What the hell are you talking about? My country isn't perverted! What in the Queen's name would give you that idea!" Arthur spewed, red faced.

"Mon cher, some of your most common dishes are how shall I put it..sexual." Francis shook his luscious locks out of his face to used to his friend's temper to care.

"Give three examples?" Arthur challenged blowing on the surface of his tea to cool it down.

"Bangers and mash, ploughman's lunch, and my personal favorite, spotted dick." he smirked as the Brit had the decency to flush.

"You can relate to the last one, " he snarked back, flush dying.

"Ohohohohon, how would you know that mon cher?" he eyed him slyly.

"I can't help that you whip it around every time you stay the night at my house!" he almost threw his hands in the air remembering the tea at the last second.

"Be careful mon cher, you could have done a lot of damage with that."

"Imagine if it had fallen on that bastard Alfred's head. I wouldn't mind seeing him damaged." Arthur snickered.

"For someone so adorable, you sure are vindictive." Francis stated watching his friend worriedly.

'I"m not adorable!"

"Mon cher...you sleep with a mint green bunny."

"You leave Flying Mint Bunny out of this!" Arthur snapped.

While their childish argument carried on, an innocent Italian took a bite of his lunch, gagging as the disgusting toxins hit his tongue. He shot out of his chair. "DOITSU! DOISTU! THEIR TRYING TO POISON ME!" Feliciano exclaimed rushing towards his German boyfriend shoving aside a green eyed Brit out of the way.

"Oomph," Arthur fell forward, his tea flying out of his hand an landing on an irate American's lap.

…

"Dude! Did you see last night's episode of No Day but Today!*" Alfred asked mouth full of hamburger.

"NO! I was busy helping West! Dude I'm so jealous!" Gil took a bite of wurst. "How was it?"

"Epic...Brittany found out from Luke that Carlos is her half-brother from her mother!"

"NOOOO I don't want it spoiled! I recorded it." he covered his ears.

"But dude don't you wanna know how Brit reacted?" he asked taking a drink of Pepsi.

"YES!"

"Well it turns out Carlos was listening in, and he fell out of the closet, and Brittany went bat-shit on him, cause it turns out that she was pregnant with his kid."

NO! But Carlos is in a relationship with Jack! When did this happen?"

"It was before Carlos and Jack got together! Apparently Britt was upset over her break up with-"

"Oh yeah! I remember that episode! It was where Luke told Rachel his feelings."

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><p><strong>Thank you and bear with me. <strong>

**If you guys want any cameo pairings in here, tell me and i'll write 'em in. And any ideas you have, tell me and I'll see if they fit. I don't want to steal your ideas. I don't need them, but I want this to be as much as ya'll's story as possible. **

**Thanks Reviewers get Canada key chain.**


	3. Full Chp 2

**Here is the full chapter 2. Thanks to all who reviewed and favorited, or even just suscribed. It made me feel Prussia-awesome. Thank you all so much Hands Matti keychains to people who didn't review, but nonetheless alerted and favorited.***

**I had this at the end of my last A/N but didn't go into much detail. You can request any pairing you want, and i'll see if I can work it in. If you have ideas you'd like to see, again you can request them. I will credit ideas to you. I do not need them, but I want this to be as much as ya'lls story as possible.**

**Disclaimer-If any of us owned Hetalia...do you think we'd be on here? Hell no! We'd be making this stuff happen! So I obviously don't own it. DX **

**Warnings-Crude language and bad stereotyping. The views expressed in this story are not my own. **

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><p><strong>Sry for the long AN! Enjoy Chapter 2!<strong>

The cafeteria at Hetalia High is as refined and beautiful as a high-school cafeteria can be. The floor tiles gleam like new; delicate painted flags shining underneath sneakers and loafers, and are so realistic you can't help but stop and stare. The tables are long, clean, sleek, and white. The vending machines along the walls have only the best food products and the all you can eat buffet is second to none. Different smells permeate the air each day ranging from heavenly catalonian meatballs for French Day, to intoxicating ravioli and pasta linguine during Italian day, to noxious burnt something or other for British Day. Or as it was known to most everyone. Sack Lunch Day.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Arthur shouted, red faced. "My country isn't perverted! What in the Queen's name would give you that idea!"

"Mon cher, some of your most common dishes are how shall I put it..sexual." Francis shook his luscious locks out of his face to used to his friend's temper to care.

"Exanples?" Arthur challenged blowing on the surface of his tea to cool it down.

"Bangers and mash," Francis smiled.

"Only you.."

"Ploughman's lunch,"

" A simple meal!"

"Spotted dick." he smirked as the Brit flushed a pretty red.

"You would know that."

"Ohohohohon, is that an invitation?"

"No...just..no."

…

"Dude! Did you see last night's episode of No Day but Today!*" Alfred asked mouth full of hamburger.

"NO! I was busy helping West!" Gil took a bite of wurst. "Dude I'm so jealous. How was it?"

"Epic...Brittany found out from Luke that Carlos is her half-brother from her mother!"

"NOOOO I don't want it spoiled! I recorded it." Gilbert covered his ears.

"But dude don't you wanna know how Brit reacted?" he asked.

"YES!"

"Well it turns out Carlos was listening in, and he fell out of the closet, and Brittany went bat-shit on him, cause it turns out that she was pregnant with his kid."

NO! But Carlos is in a relationship with Jack! When did this happen?"

"It was before Carlos and Jack got together! Apparently Britt was upset over her break up with-"

"Oh yeah! I remember that episode! It was where Luke told Rachel his feelings."

"Aww," Matt smile "I love it when you guys get along"

"Please," Alfred snorted. "As if I'd get along with that douchetard."

"What are you talking about Matt?" Gil rolled his eyes, "Burger breath and I don't get along."

"But..you guys were just talking about your soap opera..." Matthew faltered as he saw the look in his friend's and brother's eyes.

"Whoa bro!" Alfred shot out of his chair offended.

Gilbert slammed his hands on the table "_What? _No Day but Today is not a soap opera. How could you say such a thing!"

"But the plot line..." Matthews defense was cut off my Alfred.

"Right! NBTD is a show! A _dramatic_ show!" he threw his hands in the air, "A great show!"

"An awesome show!" Gil nodded for emphasis.

Matthew rolled his eyes. They were so much alike.

"And that is the seventeenth reason why Alfred Jones is a good for nothing wanker."

Francis looked at Arthur across table. "Mon cher...I worry for your mental state."

Arthur paused mid rant. "What?" he asked taken aback, "Why?"

"Mon ami, all you talk about is Alfred. Why do you suppose this is?"

"He's a good for nothing wanker." he paused a moment, "And I hate his stupid face."

Francis chuckled. "You're so adorable for someone so vindictive." he placed his chin in his hands. "It's obvious you feel L'Amour for sweet Alfred."

"I'm not adorable..and I don't like Alfred!"

"You still sleep with the green rabbit plush he gave you for you're eighth birthday."

"You leave Flying Mint Bunny out of this!" He shouted slamming his hands on the table "I keep him because he's a good companion! It has nothing to do with that Yank."

"Aiyee!" Francis shrieked jumping back as the Brit's tea tumbled and fell. He examined his clothes for any stains "Arthur be careful!"

"Oh dear!" Arthur grabbed napkins from the holder and dabbed the mess.

Francis helped mop up the mess. "Honestly ma cour you can be so clumsy sometimes."

"I'm sorry!"

"Oh well, at least it's cold." Francis sighed. "Hot tea would be painful."

Arthur stared at his now empty mug forlornly, "This is a bad day."

Francis patted his friends shoulder. "There there. Now use crying over spilled tea. Let's go get you another cup."

**I am sooooooo sorrrrryyy for the long wait! I got un-motivated and I'm having some character development issues. **

**Here is the reformatted chapter. I originally intended more, but I got stuck and so I want you guys to know I still live! Expect chapters to be this length maybe longer. **

**You know the usual, tell me what you think, whether you hate it, love it..I don't care. Reviewers will get a Romano Key Chain.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey all! I'm sorry for the long wait, but I lost all motivation to continue Prank Wars. However I would like to give a shout out to the people who stopped me from giving up entirely, they are: _crocious, Shady-Ken, NekoDew, Danichantotally, alguien22792, Insomniac Panda-Chan, brattyteenagewerewolf, bleedingsmirk, anikidazo, sol jones, southparkyaoifan, Vampchick2010, and all the extra people who didn't review but added me/ or my story to their favorite list. _ You guys mean the world to me and are the reason I'm continuing Prank Wars. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and the next chapter will be dedicated to you lovely people specifically. It should be up sometime next week. Again, thank you and I hope you enjoy the coming adventures of Alfred, Arthur, and the rest of the Hetalia High Crew. See you soon! -head desk- That sounded a lot less cheesy in my head. Lol**

**Oh one more thing -throws Russia key chains at everyone- Catch!**


	5. Chapter 5

Prank wars is now on hiatus. All files pertaining to it were deleted off my comp, and frankly, I've lost motivation to continue this. I'm sorry to all my loyal fans, but losing all my work was kinda the last blow for me. If you liked this check out my other stories and I have more on the way. Again, I'm sorry. 


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